Phantom Pains
by Oldwickedsongs
Summary: -Completed- Sesshoumaru seeks companionship with old friend who is appalled to see the great Lord of the Western Lands in the company of a mortal child. Sesshoumaru is faced with his reputation, and his own growing fears that he is growing weak.
1. Aches of Old Wounds

**Disclaimer:** "If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended,

That you did but slumber'd here while these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme is no more yielding then a dream."

Midsummer's Night Dream

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**Phantom Pains**

**By: Lady Erised **

**Phantom Pains- **Pain appearing to come from where an amputated limb use to be, ranging from a minor annoyance, to an almost unbearable sensation. Appears in eighty percents of all cases.

**Prologue: The Ache of Old Wounds **

The sun had settled itself into the sky earlier; and seemed to linger there without much attention or care to anyone or anything caught in its scope. It was not an unpleasant sight but after the bitter winter skies, and a thick howling wind that was deadest on continuing despite the sun's interference; the day was one old warriors preferred to stay inactive and inside. The chill and changing of the seasons made old bones ache, and the scar tissue around them swell or tighten. It made for a dull flow of pain that came in waves of sharpness and cut through the fibers of muscles like ice. While it was not altogether disabling, the waves had a nasty habit of flaring, ebbing, and returning with twice the strength; making it a continual onslaught. Most warriors, wise and bitten as they were, would take the day with a blessing and retire to their homes with warm soup and warmer women.

Sesshoumaru didn't have that luxury and it was not for lack of opportunity. He had beauty and grace enough to seduce any who caught his attention, and influence and authority enough to quarter any home he desired. But he ignored both options, choosing instead to continue walking in his dogged pursuit of Naraku. Hate steeled his in resolve, and was almost enough to block out the pain in his arm.

Almost.

He had made a good effort to block out the pain, but its constant assault had begun to wear on Sesshoumaru's patience. He was walking now, a little ahead of his entourage, with his good hand bracing the muscles of his left upper arm, right above where his arm had been severed. The muscles were burning and with every flare, Sesshoumaru flexed his fingers slightly, willing the pain to stop. He hated reacting to the pain; even more so then experiencing it for he knew two pair of eyes were forever watching his movements. For them, he had to appear invincible.

It gnawed at him to be bested by his own infirmity.

He heard a small forced sigh behind him. Rin's sigh. A moment later he expected to hear Jaken's angry ribbing and was surprised when no recourse was taken. It was enough to make Sesshoumaru stop, and turn, right in sync with another feigned sigh from his human ward.

Rin was sitting atop Ah-Un giving him a thoughtful, questioning look. As she noticed he was watching her, she put a small arm around her stomach and sighed again. Despite the quiet, all-knowing looks he had come to expect from her, Sesshoumaru could sense this was unnatural. It didn't help that Jaken, who stood right below the dragon with his hand about the creature's leash, was making no effort to silence Rin.

The pain is his limb flared again, making Sesshoumaru understand. They wanted him to rest, to give him the chance to warm and recoup. The only way they knew how to succeed in this without insulting him (or his ego) was to pin the respite on Rin and her human frailties.

There was something unnerving at how Rin always seemed to take care of him.

"Rin." He began, keeping his voice cool, knowing they'll pick up on the fact he knew what they were up to. "Are you fatigued already?"

Rin inhaled, and forced a sigh again. "Ah-huh! It's too cold for me, my Lord. Can't we please find somewhere to avoid the wind for a short time? Please!"

Jaken bowed deeply, "I have heard of a citadel a few steps up the road, sire. It is commanded by a powerful youkai regent. He will not deny the Lord of the Western Lands accommodations."

Sesshoumaru turned away from them, to see where Jaken had pointed. The scent on the air was familiar to him, stirring memory. He could even smell the smoke from the citadel's kitchens before they were wrapped by the wind. It was true, he knew the Regent personally, and there was no doubt the Youkai would open his arms and doors wide to Sesshoumaru, despite the years that had passed between them. That's not what made him hesitate.

He turned back and stared at Rin. She was watching him hopefully, silently begging for him to rest. She hated the idea he was in pain, even this small amount; she always had.

Sesshoumaru wanted to sigh but stopped himself. He did, however keep his eyes always on the both of them, letting them know he wasn't being fooled. He merely chose to go along with the plan.

"Jaken." He ordered. "Go ahead of us, and tell Regent Tama that Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands asks for lodging."

Rin's face blossomed into a smile as she laughed, happily. Then, remember she was supposed to be sick and miserable; she pouted and slumped against the dragon's back. Jaken was ahead of him, speeding towards the Regent's palace before Sesshoumaru could shake his head in annoyance. So he didn't. He merely waited for the dragon to come to him, and took the reigns before continuing his trek.

In his mind, a new pain was forming, the idea of dread matching with a certain anxiety about seeing Tama again. Tama would be thrilled to see his old comrade; the Youkai was renowned for his nostalgia. He would come to greet them fully expecting to see the fearsome Taiyoukai who had bested countless enemies in battle, and left armies of dead in his wake. He would come expecting to see a warlord.

He would find a cripple, leading a mortal girl.

The pain in Sesshoumaru's arm flared.


	2. Dogs of War

**Author's Note: **Creative liberties have been taken. If there's any hard-core Inuyasha fans out there, I am in desperate need of someone to ensure this story remains somewhat in canon. Again, I am new to Inuyasha and would love feedback in developing this story. Inspiration comes from Lord of the Rings, Hamlet and Swing Kids.

**Chapter One: Dogs of War**

The citadel was crowned by large banners that the wind beat against like war drums. The banners were burgundy with a large, cream color fox curled around, meaning to attack. Various demons of different breeds milled about the grounds, casting knowing looks at Sesshoumaru as he passed and others glaring at Rin. Full blooded demons ran around in true forms: young dogs snapped and batted at the foxes' bushy tails. In a distance, near a bonfire, small beings made of pure fire threw their hands into the blazes, making them dance blue and green from heat.

Water demons, those created from the souls of drowned children, who never cared much for the rest of the world were playing the puddles.

One looked up as Sesshoumaru passed, but ignored him and looked straight into Rin's deep brown eyes. She reached her hand towards Rin, a blue, bloated hand that was blotted with green and yellow puss. "Come," The little girl beckoned to Rin, "Come play with us, in the waters."

Another of the water demons, this time a small boy, rose to his feet and tried to approach the dragon. He paused when he felt the throb of the Tensaiga. The boy looked no older then Rin and he caught her gaze with his own sad green eyes. "I'm cold. Could we play together, you and me? Run, catch the sunshine." He blinked, his sad eyes glimmering. "Not the sun by maybe its beams…I'm so cold."

"Keep your distance." Sesshoumaru warned. "Do not…" He stopped, and turned towards the main home, where a creature was emerging and bounding towards him at great speed. Even though there were several kilometers from the palace to the main entrance, the great beast crossed the distance in a few leaps.

As it ran, the beast began to transform, shifting into the likeness of a man. The true form had resembled that of a huge orange colored Fox, and even now, in human skin, the youkai had visages of his vulpine nature. He was smiling, and canines peered from the corners of his mouth. His dark orange hair was very short close to the scalp, save for twin locks of hair that framed his face and trailed to his chin. Another ponytail hung from the back of his scalp almost to the small of his back. His skin had a reddish tone that was not unnatural in appearance but looked darker when set against Sesshoumaru's ivory skin. His fingernails were black, and long. There was a patch of darker skin, like the patch found on animals that was almost black cupping his right eye. His eyes were green.

His smile reached up to his eyes, and slowly the howling the Fox had made was slowly becoming laughter: true sincere laughter from the excitement of seeing a friend once more. The smile dissolved just as Sesshoumaru knew it would when Tama took notice of the changes. Tama brushed aside his cream colored sleeves up and reached to touch Sesshoumaru's left side but decided against it. He retracted his hand, but slid it down to Sesshoumaru's belt, and while they never touched, Tama's hand lingered just above the Tensaiga and Tokijin.

"Oh, my comrade…" Tama breathed, sadly. "Why didn't you allow me to me aid you? I could have attended…"

"This was my battle."

Tama looked up at him. "There are no private battles between us, Sesshoumaru. Ryuhoji made sure of that." Another sad smile passed Tama's face. "His blood bonded us all."

"Even Tajomaru?"

"Yes. Even the traitor." Tama's smile became animated again. "But enough talk of the past, we're together now, and I hope you'll stay will be a long one." His little nose scrunched up. "We have to get your clothing attended to, Sesshoumaru. You smell like one of my slaves."

Rin yelped a little at the insult, Sesshoumaru braced himself. Tama was staring at Rin in disbelief. His smile was morphing into a small uncertain sneer, as if he had caught scent of something rotten. His hand was curling into a claw again. "And what is this, Sesshoumaru Lord?" The Fox asked, taking on the air of formality and danger. "A gift for your Tama?" That smile again, hungry and dark. "For my children…"

Sesshoumaru leaned against Ah-Un, blocking the space between them.

Tama blinked, frowning. "What is this?"

"Rin."

Rin blinked, and put her hands together in front of her to sit up. She attempted a smile of her own, then tapered off and squatted a little closer to Ah-Un's neck. Sesshoumaru felt her small body heaving in fear. He was beginning to regret coming.

"Rin." Tama repeated, searching Sesshoumaru's face for some hint of an explanation. He was asking hundreds of silent questions, each one stabbing at Sesshoumaru like the wind's chill. Tama was known to keep human slaves: mainly as games for his children like hunting. He could even tolerate the women- never for companionship; they just made the best meals.

In the old days, when it had just been the four of them with no means or duties outside of ensuring they didn't annoy or insult Inutaisho and in doing so, get killed; humans had been a favorite pastime. Sesshoumaru had been the worst of the group when dealing with humans. Ryuhoji was fascinated with them, Tajomaru tolerated them for his brother's sake, Tama toyed with them, and Sesshoumaru killed them.

Using this vivid memory as a preconception made the image before Tama's eyes all the more unbelievable. The human, Rin, was for all intentions and purposes well cared for. She was fed and cleaned, with new robes adorning her small frame. There was even the smell of flowers on her, as if she were perfumed with oils. The soles of her feet were soft like an underbelly; she hardly walked on her own feet. And meanwhile Sesshoumaru stood, his clothing stiff and slightly soiled from the dirt the winds kicked up, smelling of sweat and reeking of humanity- namely this girl.

"You carry this girl." Tama realized out loud. "In your arms, you carry her…"

Sesshoumaru looked away, "Are the rooms prepared, Tama?"

Tama nodded. "You're right. We'll discuss this later." He lifted a hand, and two smaller servants hustled to them, to take Ah-Un's reigns. Tama sneered again as Sesshoumaru lifted Rin off the dragon's back. It took a conscience effort for Sesshoumaru not to pull Rin closer to his body and continue walking. Instead, he set her down. She quickly clung to his leg. Tama's eyes were like the wind are Sesshoumaru's back, searing hot pain.

"Ah-Un will be in my personal stables, behind the compound." Tama supplied quietly. "Your vassal Jaken is currently ensuring the rooms I've set aside are to your liking." He turned to study Rin again. "The girl can stay…"

"With me."

Tama blinked, meeting Sesshoumaru's eyes. Then, finally he nodded a little. "As you wish." Tama gave Sesshoumaru another deep look. "We will talk."

* * *

"Master Jaken!" Rin called, tackling him as she came tumbling into the room. "Master Jaken, there's a lot of kids here!"

Jaken turned from admiring the large painted murals that adorned three sides of the private quarters and gave Rin a sharp look. "Well, of course there are, foolish brat! A youkai as old as Master Tama has many children by now, as well as young vassals and protégés. It is a symbol to how great he is!"

"But Master Jaken," Rin started in a cool, uncertain voice she assumed when approaching a subject she was new to. "Lord Sesshoumaru has no children." Then, because the idea bothered her, she looked to Sesshoumaru. "Do you, my Lord?"

Sesshoumaru wasn't paying attention to her. He was standing in front of one of the murals, with his hand posed over the picture like Tama had been with his swords. He seemed to brush the painted figure's face kindly, as if it were an old lover rather then a portrait frozen in time.

The mural was of a battle scene, a thinly veiled massacre where four Youkai lords were positioned in epic, daring poses of victories. Slain humans, some dressed in common villager garb, others in proud Samurai armor gleaming like peacocks, were strewn about the ground in the painting. Smoke dulled the air, as painted swords clashed silently against one another. One could almost smell the blood; hear the cries of the dead and dying.

The figure of Sesshoumaru's attention was kneeling in the midst of the war, a slain Youkai before him, slain humans nearby. The creature looked vaguely Coyote, although his features clearly favored humanity. Dull brown eyes that were infinitely sad gazed down on the fallen, and below them a perfectly formed nose, small mouth and handsome chin brushed lightly with brown hair. His armor was light; an unwise move in such a chaotic battlefield, and no weapon could be seen about his person. He looked very young.

Ryuhoji.

Sesshoumaru brushed Ryuhoji's cheek once more, whispering to him something Jaken and Rin could not hear before stepping back and viewing the other Youkai Lords. Tama, in his armor, looked twice as fearsome and hungry. There was a captive woman in Tajomaru's arms. And he, Sesshoumaru, lurked somewhere in background of the painting: the real mastermind of it a mere afterthought in its immortalizing. He was wielding a sword that had long since passed into memory: a cheap imitation made in the likeness of the Tessaiga. Sesshoumaru would have smiled; the Tessaiga. Even then he coveted it, although he never would have taken it from his father, Inutaisho. At least, not at the time this mural had been painted.

His eyes flickered back to Tajomaru. He could hear the last fight they had ringing in his ears. So much passed then, in such a short time, it had winded even him.

"Rin." He ordered quietly, knowing she was still watching him, waiting for an answer to her question. "Stay with Jaken. Never go anywhere in this place alone. Understood?"

Rin nodded seriously. "Yes, my Lord." She frowned as he turned to walk away. Jaken stood up a little straighter. "But where are you going!"

Sesshoumaru ignored him.

Rin waited a few moments before gingerly approaching the figure that had so captivated Sesshoumaru's attention. "Master Jaken…who is he?"

* * *

_They had encamped near a river because Tama liked to play in the water. There had been no other pressing reason or grand design part from that and for the four compatriots; it had been all that was needed. There was a small camp fire burning, not really to warm them or prepare foods but to illuminate the designs Sesshoumaru was drawing in the dirt. Two banners were impaled in the ground: dark blue with the name of Sesshoumaru's father scrawled across them. No other effigy was needed; Inutaisho of the Three Swords had enough of a reputation. _

_They had been waging small wars, and participating in skirmishes along the __Western__Land__'s borders in all summer; out of boredom. Inutaisho, knowing his son's thirst for conquest, reluctantly allowed this. After all, Sesshoumaru's actions brought him more tribute from conquered lands, and more prestige as the Lord. Both gained from it. _

_The others of Sesshoumaru's coterie benefited from their vengeful prince too, each in their own way. Tama was the only bastard son of Inutaisho's prized assassin, Usagi, that had stayed around his father long enough to earn anything remotely like a title. As long as Tama accompanied Sesshoumaru on these campaigns and returned the Western Lord Prince in once piece, his family gained honor and hopefully, one day, independence. _

_Tajomaru and Ryuhoji were the princes of the Wild Packs, demons dogs that held no fealty to Inutaisho or anything Lord. They belonged to something more wild, more primitive then Courts and Kingships. They embraced the more basic parts of their nature; rejecting the pomp and ceremony that families like Inutaisho's had adopted. They did however give homage where it was due, if only to ensure safe passage through the Western Lands. _

_They were there for boredom's sake as well._

_Sesshoumaru was sitting up crossed legged on the dirt, his plumed boa folded over his lap for Tajomaru to use as a pillow. Tajomaru was lying on Sesshoumaru's lap, looking up at his chin, and lifting one delicately clawed finger to his chin, careful to not touch. _

_"Don't smile. Don't smile! Don't smirk!" Tajomaru was warning in a mock serious voice, trying to get Sesshoumaru to do just that. He was failing as normal. _

_Tama pushed up from the water, gulping up air and throwing his head back. He cocked his head to one side, "Plotting the main battle?" _

_"Hm."__ Sesshoumaru replied. "Ryuhoji?"_

_"There was a village behind us." Tajomaru said. That was all that was needed to say. _

_Tama had emerged from the river, and plopped down beside the camp fire to study Sesshoumaru's sketches. He never bothered to dress. "You're moving the Second Army into the foreground?" Tama frowned, looking up. "The Second is old men and slaves They won't fight bravely enough. Nori will tear them apart."_

_"I will command the Second." Sesshoumaru replied, ignoring Tama's warnings. "You and Tajomaru will command light infantry and keep them on each side. I want Ryuhoji with my First Army." He leaned forward. "I'll push the Second deep into Nori's territory."_

_"He'll cut you off with his flanks. You'll be surrounded." _

_Tajomaru had stopped harassing Sesshoumaru to listen. "That's what you want." He blinked. "You're related to Nori, aren't you?"_

_"He's my Uncle." Sesshoumaru told him. "My mother's brother."_

_Tama paled a little. "So he will want to kill you more then anything. It'll make him come for you," He inhaled, catching on. "And then Tajomaru and I will come in."_

_"With Ryuhoji as the last charge."__ Sesshoumaru ordered. "He'll bring home the victory."_

_"But I don't want victory." _

_The three turned to see Ryuhoji appearing from the darkness, his fingers around a flute, posing over the holes in mock practice. He seemed very pleased with his newest discovery. _

_"I know you don't." Tajomaru said, sitting up and making room for Ryuhoji between them. Of them all, Ryuhoji loved being closest to Sesshoumaru. He seemed to know innately that of them all, Sesshoumaru would be most protective of him, most devoted to him. Even over Tajomaru. "But that doesn't stop him from making you the hero."_

_Ryuhoji looked into Sesshoumaru's eyes. "Am I a hero, my Lord?"_

_Of them all, he only called Sesshoumaru Lord. Sesshoumaru looked up, losing himself in Ryuhoji's eyes. He said nothing. He turned back to his drawings._

_If he had known this would be the last time they were together, it might have changed something. He might have answered. _

"Ryuhoji." Sesshoumaru whispered, as he walked the narrow hallway. Something burned his eyes because of the memory. Something ached in his chest. Something buzzed in his head, making his dizzy. His arm was hurting again. His hand fell to the Tensaiga's hilt, as if he wished to attack this phantom assault of memory and emotions he was never accustomed too. Most of all, he wanted his peace again. "Ryuhoji."

"Why do you call to the dead?" He turned, seeing Tama before him. The Regent stood posed and calm. His hands folded before him. He was walking closer to Sesshoumaru, his eyes downcast. Sesshoumaru removed his hands from his swords. Tama spoke again, "Do you think to find yourself again?"

"I was never lost."

"But you are." Tama whispered. "And that's the pain of it, Sesshoumaru Lord. You don't even know it."


	3. Nom de Guerre

**Author's Note: **For Babbitt. Love you. Now edited to fix a name

**Chapter Two: Nom de Guerre **

"Why haven't you claimed the Tessaiga?"

"It hasn't been for lack of effort, Tama."

"I think it is." Tama returned, circling around Sesshoumaru as he walked. "Why haven't you taken the sword from the parasite of a brother?"

"My brother and mine's recent history have some wonderfully explicit battles in which I have not emerged the victor." Sesshoumaru threw his hair from one side to the other, to draw attention to his missing limb. "In case you haven't realized this."

"Had you been the man I remembered, you would have crushed Inuyasha's head against a wall when he was a child. You did not."

"For my father's sake."

"Your father's or Izayoi's?" Tama cocked his head. "Were you in love with her?"

"Are you drunk?"

"I need to be." Tama touched his hands to his forehead. "I mean explain to me what's happening to you, Sesshoumaru? When did you just give up and those bastards beat you? What caused your surrender? You were once…so alive, so powerful. You were everything, everything you could have ever imagined to want. Why on earth did you throw it away to travel the lands like some vagrant with a human whelp as company?" He was speaking through gritted teeth in a heavy voice, as he if had been wounded by deep scar he could not express. He took a step closer to Sesshoumaru and reached his hand out, pleading. "Who blinded you?"

Sesshoumaru realized he had been retreating from Tama's words. Suddenly, he found himself looking to the exits but pride and self-loathing stayed him. His mind was ringing with Tama's words, surprised by the passion and struck by the truth behind them. It had not been love for his brother's mother, or even-if he was truthful- love for his father that had kept him from harming the child that would grow to disarm him. However, he could not name the compulsion even if he tried.

Unaware he was doing so; Sesshoumaru turned his head away from Tama, and put his hand on the hilt of Tensaiga. He was comforted by its presence.

Tama inhaled suddenly, "Ah, and now I see."

"See what?" Sesshoumaru drawled tiredly, pulling his hand back and straightening up again. He was beginning to feel like a child again, being chewed out by Inutaisho. He was getting annoyed.

"It's has poisoned you." Tama motioned.

Sesshoumaru almost laughed. "It's a sword."

"It's your father's sword." Tama's eye glinting in anger; focusing all his hate towards the Heavenly Fang. "It's what has turned you."

"You think to know me." Sesshoumaru began, turning away from Tama. He couldn't bear to meet his friend's gaze right now. "A lot has changed."

"Yes, I can see that now." Tama replied. "Inutaisho has finally broken his son."

"I am not broken!" Sesshoumaru hissed. Tama had known the weakness in Sesshoumaru's armor, and now taken the offensive. The old Fox smiled a deep scarred smile. "Then prove it, Western Lord."

Sesshoumaru saw Tama's childish smile, and felt it catching. "Oh and how do you think to prove it?"

Tama's smile became a laugh, coarse and chewed like armor. "Tell me, Sesshoumaru Lord; is your fang still sharp?"

It had been an old dare, made to one old friend by another. A childish game to prove bravery and courage and skill. Sesshoumaru turned again to stare at the door. He felt like he should attend to Rin; this would be a wholly unfamiliar land to her.

But it had been far too long since he hadn't been trapped in his human form. He missed his true power. Rin had weathered years alone, she could last one moment more.

Sesshoumaru met Tama's eyes and smiled. It was the sort of smile Jaken warned about, deep and foreboding. He spoke no word, but never flinched from Tama's gaze as he had moments before; instead he wordlessly began to withdraw Tokijin and Tensaiga from his belt before following with his armor. Rules of the game: enter unarmed. Sesshoumaru would have grinned. He never meant to take it literally. Now he did.

He paused and waited. "Try to keep up."

"Lead and I will follow." Promised Tama as he unsheathed the last of his hidden weapons. "Now and always."

There was a laughter that followed an explosion of green light and then nothing.

* * *

In the village, Rin had been often left alone by her peers. This hadn't been out of malice, she knew that, but out of fear. For children the concept of death had been something entirely different then it was to grown ups. For kids, death was being "out" when playing War. You could run around, fighting with pretend monsters and evil Samurai, but if they caught you and "killed" you, then you had to sit out the rest of the game. 

They couldn't understand then the concept of true death, the idea that Rin's parents and her brother Jomei (who always played a Youkai when they fought their wars, so he never really died.) would never return. The game would never reset.

Rin's family would forever be out.

And Rin became quiet. She seemed to understand the deeper meanings of death, and it made her quiet. She wouldn't play the war games anymore. She wouldn't pretend to be the Youkai's sister. She wouldn't play. So they left her alone, to her walks into the forests and silence.

And now, in her place beside Lord Sesshoumaru and Master Jaken, Rin rarely came across children and was never around them long enough to interact.

It made the citadel something new and exciting. She walked around the compound, mouth agape, tugging on Jaken's sleeve and showing peoples and things to him that she had never seen before. He would nod idly at her, rebuke her and secretly return to being astonished as well. Tama's palace reminded him of Sesshoumaru's abandoned Court, and Jaken longed for home.

Rin saw the little boy who implored her to play with him. He was squatting down, tossing the dirt over his blue arms and rubbing it against his skin. Because of the thin curtain of water that clung to his skin, the dirt became mud, caking his skin in a thin veneer of brown. It looked almost human. He stopped his painting when he heard Rin approach. Nervously, he stood and met her eyes.

Rin stopped. She was not afraid of him, but she had never known any demon her age before, much less approached one to play.

Thankfully the boy took the first move, "Hello."

Rin inhaled. She smiled a little. "Hello. I'm Rin. What's your name?"

"Zen." The little boy dropped his hands to his side. "Where is your Lord?"

"Master Jaken is over there." Rin pointed to the Fire Demons who were tending to the Staff of the Two Heads. Every so often Jaken would stop harassing the Smithy to glance at Rin, making sure she was still alive. She smiled and waved to him. "Lord Sesshoumaru is with Lord Tama." She leaned over, making her voice deep and serious, like Tama's. "Talking."

Zen smiled. "Tama was very surprised to see Lord Sesshoumaru with you. Iva said he was in a rage."

"Iva?"

"Iva." Zen pointed to the elder water demon, the girl who had first spoken to them when they entered the Compound. "Iva is Tama's chambermaid. I am her servant." Zen had stood and was walking away from her. Rin followed him, ignoring the fact distance was being put between her and her custodian Jaken. Zen paused for half a beat to let Rin stroll beside him. "She frowned upon you." He saw her look. "Oh don't worry. She doesn't have any way to hurt you like Sesshoumaru and Tama."

Rin paused and glared a little. "Lord Sesshoumaru doesn't mistreat me."

"For a slave…"

"I'm not his slave!" She had said a little louder then she meant. It made others turn and throw looks at them. Zen blinked and put his hands on her shoulders, shushing her. His hands were clammy.

"Quiet." Zen eased, nervously. He motioned to another of his kind, the girl who had first beckoned to her. "Quiet. Iva is looking for a reason to hurt you. They all are."

"Are you?"

Zen blinked. "I was once human." Was the only response he gave her, expecting it to be enough and for now it was. He laughed a little as he tasted the words again.

"Were you one of Tama's slaves?"

Zen shook his head. "Iva found me. She brought me to the palace so I wouldn't alone."

"She sounds..." Rin had once heard never to speak ill of strangers. "interesting."

"She is." Zen turned, and took her hand for a second. Rin smiled and squeezed it a little, to assure him. He blushed a little. "You'll meet her soon. Tama has asked her to preparing entertainment for your Lord's honor."

Rin felt her smile grow. "Lord Sesshoumaru will like that." Granted, she wasn't quite certain her Sesshoumaru would; she had never seen him give himself to festivals and ceremony but she knew she would enjoy it. She had never been to one.

"Maybe you can come too." Zen offered.

Rin frowned. She never had thought she wouldn't be able to go. Sesshoumaru only left her behind when things were dangerous. He wouldn't deny her a party.

Zen seemed to catch her confusion. "It's just you're human, Rin. Tama and your Lord despise your kind."

"He doesn't hate me."

"Oh?" Zen said, amused. He had stopped and turned to face her. "Are you so sure?"

Rin paused, frowning. Admittedly, she had never asked Sesshoumaru about his feelings for her, but he had saved from the Wolves, and the darkness that had followed that night of the attack. He had come to save her from Naraku, from Kohaku. He had to care for her…didn't he? She swallowed down something troubling. "He would never hurt me."

"A full Youkai Lord?" Zen prodded, "With no real love and one famous for his bloodlust."

"I have to find Master Jaken…" Rin whispered, pulling away. She didn't like the words Zen was whispering in her ear.

Zen's hand caught her wrist. "Please." Zen murmured. "Don't go. I'm…just concerned." His eyes were soft and sincere. It reminded Rin of Jomei, her brother. Sesshoumaru never looked at her like that. "You don't even know him, do you? The Butcher of Four Creeks?"

"Four Creeks?" Rin whispered. She didn't even want to say the name. She was afraid of what it would mean. She wanted Jaken to come suddenly, wanted to return to Sesshoumaru's rooms and wait for him. She would always wait for him. "I should go."

"A few moments longer." Zen pleaded. "Let me show you your Master."


	4. Four Creeks

**Author's Note: **A short chapter and no Sesshoumaru. I figured I was trashing him enough; it was time to bother Rin. Enjoy! Inspiration comes from my old Star Wars fanfics, and comics. Auden's poems and Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock helps too.

**Chapter Three: Four Creeks **

_ In its glory days, Four Creeks had been the nerve center of the entire province. It had been craved out of a deep forest early on, long before the wars. Fresh water flowing in from four streams was enough to sustain a population of five hundred natives with two hundred travelers gracing the streets at any given time. This had given birth a new type of city: a self-policed, totally self-sufficient heart. It was a market-center, a capital and a haven for lost travelers all in one. It was Four Creeks, and everyone who knew it loved it as a second home. _

_ Then the wars came, and as with the nation as a whole, Four Creeks suffered. One of the streams dried up, cursed it was rumored, by a Youkai. Another river had become irreparably tainted by the blood of fallen soldiers from a main battle that had been fought somewhere up stream. Without half of its bloodlines, Four Creeks waned. Five hundred people became a mere two hundred: mainly those too old or too young to move to more fertile grounds. Four Creeks was still situated near the main traveling routes, allowing for periods of relative success and relative peace and quiet. _

_ A prefect whetting stone. _

_ It had been Ryuhoji's gift to Sesshoumaru. There had been no real reason; no birthday, or rite of passage. It had been a gift to a loved one. Ryuhoji never had any use for weapons or means of war. He was a poet, a bard. The youngest son of the Wild Packs, but with no real taste for blood. He preferred stories, or mythos or pondering the greater meanings of a life that could-if nurtured-stretch into infinity. Ryuhoji had a taste for Godhood, and wished to ensure his place in a greater journey unto somewhere._

_ Sesshoumaru never had his patience. He was one of war, groomed and conceived for such a purpose. Sesshoumaru was the prefect tyrant: beautiful, graceful and deadly. He was everything Ryuhoji adored, but without any compassion or mercy. A dark God. _

_ Ryuhoji's intentions were shaded, even to this day. If pressed to be honest, Sesshoumaru would have admitted that he never lent much thought to such a queer gift. Ryuhoji was as reasonable and predictable as the wind. He had merely taken the gift out of courtesy and would have dismissed it. _

_ Had it not been for Tama and Tajomaru. _

_ Sesshoumaru turned the gift over in his hands, arching a brow as the blade's cold steel touched his fingertips. The sword was masterfully forged; a blade so tuned that when tapped it sang, and a hilt gleaming of gold and blue and gray. There was an inscription on the blade; his story: Sesshoumaru, son of Inutaisho out of Sensoumi._

_ A blade of history; not made for blood._

_ "Like your birthright." Tama grinned._

_ Sesshoumaru was still examining the blade. He never bothered to look up. "Hm."_

_ "There's talk of the old hound leaving you his Tensaiga." Tajomaru continued. He was staring at his fingernails disdainfully. They had been on campaign for two weeks now: far too long to be without women. "Maybe you could use it as hair shears."_

_ "Or keeping the monsters from under my bed." Tama laughed, he leaned over to Sesshoumaru, so close that the young prince could smell the wine on the Fox's breath. "And I know you do so covet being near my bed."_

_ "There's no room for me." Sesshoumaru idled. "Your mother takes up the space."" _

_"You wound me!"_

_"I tried. Ryuhoji wouldn't let me."_

_Ryuhoji shook his head sadly and poked the fire. "It wasn't meant for this." He whispered. "Not at all."_

_Sesshoumaru looked up, smiling coolly. "Oh come, little one, we were only teasing."_

_"Yeah, it's not even sharp." _

_"Not sharp?" Sesshoumaru said suddenly standing. The fresh air assaulted him, making him slightly dizzy. "It's sharp enough for my needs."_

_Tajomaru looked up, his features darkening slightly. Tama looked hungry. Ryuhoji seemed to shrink deeper into the darkness. Tama spoke first. "And what are your needs, Fluffy?"_

_"Not sharp enough to rend Youkai flesh no," Sesshoumaru said idly, his eyes catching the gleam of the blade. "But humans…are softer."_

Two hundred souls.

Rin's hand rested on the painted figure of her Lord. Sesshoumaru's face was turned from her, his sword blooded and pointed to the floor, in surrender. The fine scrawl that told the story still making tears sting her small eyes. Two hundred souls, it said, with a blunt sword. Rin knew little of swordplay, but she was learning from watching and mimicking Sesshoumaru. She knew a blunt sword must have taken hours.

Two hundred souls.

Sesshoumaru's golden eyes were gleaming. He had both arms in the picture. One holding his sword, the other pointing to its counterpart: Tama. Tama's figure was bowing, with a realistic grin painted onto his face. Rin thought she saw Sesshoumaru's smile in the mural. She stayed with her hand over the mural for a long time, as silent as the tomb. Reading the same inscription over and over again till when she blinked she could see it in the darkness.

Two hundred souls, to prove a sword was sharp enough. She found herself thinking of his swords: the Tokijin and Tensaiga. She had never seen him raise either one carelessly and never in jest.

_Two hundred souls... _

On a dare.

Rin felt a hand on her shoulder but she never flinched. Her eyes stopped. She let her vision blur to dismiss the terrible mural from her mind. She felt the hand squeeze slightly: a feeble attempt of comfort. Jomei had been better at it.

"I'm sorry, milady." Zen's voice was dull, like water. She felt his hand withdrew and immediately missed it. Rin turned a little, to stare into his seaweed colored eyes. Eyes he now threw down but shimmered nonetheless. "I just had to…"

"Why?" Rin asked. Her small body was aching like she couldn't keep it all in. Her head was throbbing. She felt like her heart was going to break from her chest and she suddenly felt very alone. "Why did I have to know?"

Zen blinks. "Because you're human…"

"You were too!" She shouted, putting distance between her, the painting and Zen. She didn't want to be anywhere near this place. She wanted the outside again, the cold winds and silent journeys; she wanted to know her Sesshoumaru. The painted figure that wore his face was wholly unrecognizable to her. "You belong to Tama, and you aren't mad! Why don't you do something?"

"I have." Zen whispered, his eyes still pacing the floor. "I tried to save you."

Rin felt her mouth open and close like a fish.

"You don't understand?" Zen asked, tilting his head. "When I first saw you…I knew you were so alive. So much like I was once." He made a helpless motion around him. "I now serve a Master that despises the very core of what I was. I wanted to save you from that. I wanted to make sure you could be happy…"

"I was happy."

"You were ignorant." Zen rebuked. "And Sesshoumaru would have kept you in darkness."

"He's my Lord! I have to…"

"I know." He cut her off. "You have to obey him. You have to trust him. You have to follow him around, always in his shadows!" He took another step closer to her. "Rin, you're a child. I'm not. I may have this guise but I can promise you, I have existed in this state long before your parents were your age, and I have seen creatures as lovely as you fade to nothingness in the shadows of Youkai Lords." He reached to take her hands but thought better of it. "Do not let this be your fate…there has been too much sorrow to live a half-life. And any life lived in the service of a Youkai Lord will be one wasted."

"You don't know me."  
"I know those eyes. There's pain and lost in your eyes." Zen blushed, "And I would not wish that that lost goes unremembered." He could see the struggle in her eyes and took another step closer. He took Rin's hands into his, surprised she never struggled. "You were not spared to waste your life."

"Lord Sesshoumaru…" Rin began softly but began to trail off. She turned away as her face darkened into a cloud of doubt and suspicion.

Zen sensed her counter. "Go on," He cajoled, softly. "Say he loves you, if you believe it."

Rin flinched, and looked up. For a moment, she looked challenged to believe it but then pulled away from him and ran from the room. She never made a sound as she disappeared; not even her feet touching the floor. Zen would have thought she flew.

Jaken jumped when Rin burst into the room; her eyes wet and body shaking. He watched the whole thing in mute; shocked at first but well aware his young charge made no sound as she went. But he would have known her pain in silence as acutely as he would have if she had screamed with all the power in her frail frame. Rin collapsed before him, arms wrapping about his lap and locking his legs in her grip. Her small face was buried in his lap. And there, she cried; mute whole-body sobs that ripped through him even without a sound.

Quietly, Jaken reached his small hand to her back, finding her spine, and dutifully beginning to stroke it. His movement was slow, methodical, and without any other. He was there. Even in silence, he was there.


	5. Epitaph for a Tyrant

**Author's Note: **The chapter name is from an Auden poem. Thank you all for the support and reviews.

**Chapter Four: Epitaph for a Tyrant **

_The smell of victory was blood and it was everywhere; on Sesshoumaru's clothing, his hands, and it painted his sword. He looked down, studying his attire with a mild look of disappointment. The blood was not his, but it was going to ruin the silk. He shook his head. He wasn't going to hear the end of this. All around him the last frantic motions of warfare was playing out to their accorded end. The sky had long since turned gray from the flocks of carrion birds smelling meat and fresh meals. The ground had become mud, mixing dirt with blood and viscera. And the armies of both sides were beginning to reassemble into something like ranks for the last great stand._

_Sesshoumaru looked to his left, and right. Tajomaru and Tama had brought their armies in from opposite sides, closing around the mass of men and remains of men that had been his and Nori's forces. Ryuhoji had entered the fray a short time ago and now it was a simple matter of meeting the enemy and hacking them to pieces. No problem. This victory was his. _

_It smelled sweet._

_A sharp slap of pain broke his musings, making him duck and turn, readjusting a grip on his sword. He felt the blood begin to trickle down from the cut on his cheek. He knew his enemy before he even let his sense capture the identity. Only one person would have been that dramatic in getting his attention. Leave it to Nori to have a few surprises though. The scene that greeted him did not caught him off-guard although Sesshoumaru did hesitate._

_Nori__ had lost an eye sometime during the battle but hadn't the time to address it. His pale skin, so much like his nephew's, was pink from burns and sweat and the area around his left eye was blistered and white with puss. Nori's dark hair was gone, shaved for battle, and the crescent moon on his brow seemed to be bleeding. He wore black and red, to hide wounds and blood. In his arms, he held Ryuhoji and a dagger he had used to teach Sesshoumaru to hunt with. _

_Ryuhoji's eyes were wild and panicked. He was on his last reserves of strength. He was gripping Nori's arm to keep himself steady, while his other hand was vainly trying to keep his insides in. He needed attention if he hoped to survive. Once he looked and saw Sesshoumaru, his face brightened a little as hope seemed to blossom. _

_"My Lord…" Ryuhoji called weakly. "Help…I don't want to die"_

_Sesshoumaru frowned, thenignored him, looking at Nori. "Hello, Uncle."_

_"Ah," Nori exhaled angrily, bringing his grip tighter around Ryuhoji. He seemed to think he had a bargaining chip. "So you still acknowledge our blood, do you?"_

_He nodded. _

_"But not enough to take your rightful place!" Nori shouted. "I've come to claim vengeance against my sister's, Sensoumi's, murder. Your place should have been with me, not against me." _

_"You were challenging my father."_

_"And I am right to, like she was! Your father has lost his way, Sesshoumaru Prince. If you call yourself Youkai and are proud to be labeled thus, you would not disgrace yourself by following him…that human lover!"_

_"He is my Lord." Sesshoumaru said plainly. "I will not question a Lord's motives."_

_"Do you think your place is secure by your blind loyalty, Sesshoumaru? Do you think that the blood and bloodlust you have from your mother will be so easily silenced or condoned in your father's Court? Not anymore…" Nori seemed panicked now. Ryuhoji was getting weaker. Sesshoumaru thought he heard Ryuhoji's heart slowing._

_But there was still time to save him._

_"Mark my words, nephew." Nori hissed. "You will be set aside like Sensoumi was for these humans and whatever abomination your father's fevered infatuation with them produces."_

_"Hm. Is that why you hold my wounded soldier as a shield?" Sesshoumaru asked, stepping closer. "To get my attention to give me this last warning."_

_Nori__ seemed to deflate a little, the reality of the battle sinking in. "He is my ransom."_

_"Oh?"_

_"You will let me pass, nephew. Pass unharmed and uninjured, and in exchange you will have your soldier returned to you." Nori seemed to catch Sesshoumaru's reply before it was mouthed. "And don't claim to owe nothing to this creature…my spies have told me, you favor this one among the rest."_

_"If I refuse?" Sesshoumaru asked. Time was running out, he knew, the heart beating in Ryuhoji's chest was softening. He could still imagine hearing it. _

_Nori__ put pressure on Ryuhoji's wounds, making the demon howl in pain. For a moment, he looked to revert to his true form but Nori's magic keep him contained. He sank pitifully deeper into Nori's grip, begging to live. _

_His uncle gaze softened. "Let me pass. My armies are broken, my sister murdered, and with you…my family destroyed. There is nothing more Inutaisho can take from me."_

_"He wants your life."_

_"But you cannot." Nori paused, searching Sesshoumaru's eyes. "I am your family…I love you. I taught you how to hunt, to fight when you were a pup. Don't you remember? I took care of you when your father was too busy to even acknowledge you…you cannot have turned that to hate. Not even you could have."_

_Sesshoumaru drew his blade and pointed it down. His eyes flickered to Ryuhoji, then to Nori. They were the same height. "Ryuhoji?"_

_"Ses…Sesshoumaru?" Came the weak reply. Ryuhoji's eyes flickered open and with great effort they were lifted to meet him. A small smile appeared again, through the tears and pain. He knew it would be okay now, Sesshoumaru would rescue him._

_"Stand up straight, Ryuhoji." There was strained gentleness in his voice, as if kindness pained Sesshoumaru but still the voice remained low and life-giving for Ryuhoji who was desperate for it. Sesshoumaru looked up at Nori, a quiet unsure look, and Nori read acceptance of the terms. The calmness of his manner made each party read whatever they wished from it, and because it suited his purposes he let them. _

_Sesshoumaru readjusted the grip on his sword, coming closer to them. "Stand up straight, little one. Do this for me."_

_Ryuhoji nodded, and inhaled: bracing himself for the pain to come. But with resolve and eagerness to please, the Youkai hoisted himself to his full length despite having Nori's arm still wrapped around him. Sesshoumaru could see the bone in his wound, and for a moment, he flinched. But he was right: they were the same height._

_So when Sesshoumaru swung his sword up and attacked; he aimed for Ryuhoji's heart. Going through Ryuhoji's broken body was like piercing cloth, it took almost no pressure at all, but Sesshoumaru keep driving the sword until the hilt slammed into Ryuhoji's chest. He never made a sound, but Nori screamed in pain and slumped down bringing Ryuhoji and Sesshoumaru down with him. _

_Ryuhoji's eyes were opened when he died and remained set on Sesshoumaru. They only turned away when Sesshoumaru yanked his sword from both bodies to return it to the scabbard and then, the poet's eyes faced heaven. _

_Tajomaru would be the only one brave enough to ask why, and Sesshoumaru's response would be simple._

_"He was in the way."_

Sesshoumaru jolted up in his sleep, his hand searching for the Tokijin. He stopped short of calling Jaken and Rin, as he realized with a brief moment of disgust, his charges weren't with him tonight. Sitting up, and pushing his back against a tree, he tried to close his eyes; only to open them again as the image of Ryuhoji's dead eyes staring at him came rushing to his mind. He was unaccustomed to dreaming, let alone dwelling on memories, and if truth be told, Sesshoumaru would have rather left that particular memory to fester in shadow. It was not regret that made it so displeasing, merely the time that had passed since it. Ryuhoji was dead, and had been for years. He disliked being haunted by a memory.

To ease himself, Sesshoumaru leaned his head against the trunk and thought of Rin.

She has Ryuhoji's eyes.

He had never realized that before. It was those sad, terrible all-knowing eyes that seemed to cut to his bone and marrow and know things he wished no creature alive to know. She had Ryuhoji's eyes. And if pressed, he knew she had his quiet nature, his thoughtfulness and that childish devotion to him. He found himself wanting to see her suddenly, to see her small figure set against a sky far too big and ominous for her to face alone, and to see that she knew he was close.

Sesshoumaru felt another stab of disgust. He was sounding pathetic, like his father or his brother. He bore none of their weakness. Even as he thought this, those eyes came to mind again. Sesshoumaru stood, rubbing his left side for warmth. It took him a few, uncertain moments to decide he wasn't content there and wanted to return. He had had enough of memory lane.

"Tama, wake up." He called, walking away. "The air is stale here." He shook his head, hoping the cold air would bite at his senses and wake him from this air of melodrama. It was then, in his attempts to wake, that he realized the blood caked under his claws.

He thought he heard screams, or perhaps the echo of such things. Frowning, he strained to remember. He and Tama had wanted sport, in their true forms. They had gone looking for Youkai. Low level demons were always ready for a fight, and would provide an exercise if not a worthy adversary.

The blood on his hand was not Youkai. It had a different scent.

He growled, "Tama, wake up!"

The old Fox growled in his sleep and raised its head. Blinking, surprised to see its companion in human form _again_, it growled and transformed. Tama stretched his arms over his head. "Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru, what it is?" A deep chuckle escaped from the yawns. "Don't tell me you're hungry again."

"Where did we go?"

"You don't know?" Tama frowned at the expression. "We were searching for Youkai, but you grew tired of petty games." He seemed pleased with something. "You wanted a hunt. I followed and backed you."

Sesshoumaru looked at his hand. It was a time before he chose to speak again. "How many?"

"Since when has that mattered?"

"How many, Tama?" He looked over, "There's a mortal child in my company now…" He had said it not as explanation, but merely to remind himself. Rin. Rin with the dead friend's eyes. "How many?"

"Room for one more," Tama answered, misreading the scene. "One more to make amends."

Sesshoumaru dropped his hand and turned, walking back towards the direction of Tama's palace. He could smell it from here; they had not gone far.

"Where are you going?" He heard the Fox ask, but he ignored it. He sensed something different on the air, almost as if winter had chosen to stay longer. Everything smelled dead to him.

"If you run to your whelp, at least go in your true form. It'll be faster."

Sesshoumaru paused to consider. He knew Tama would not like what he was going to say but he couldn't seem to bring himself to care. Those eyes were too preoccupying. "I prefer this form for the time."

Tama watched until Sesshoumaru's ghostly form disappeared into the darkness; the Western Lord never shifted, never even so much as callingon his powers fortransportation. He was walking…like a human. Tama felt a surge of hatred. Earlier, during the hunt, when Sesshoumaru had been unencumbered by human forms or human wards, Tama had thought he'd seen the demon he once knew. He knew with certainty this thing with Sesshoumaru's scent was not the Western Lord. He was not the demon that had butchered friends to ensure his goals. He had become soft.

Human.

Tama shook his head, swearing. No, he thought, he would not lose another friend to weakness. Ryuhoji had died because he no longer fought for to live. Sesshoumaru wouldn't have killed him otherwise. He had been weak, and they would never accept weakness. Tajomaru didn't understand that, he had been blinded by pain and emotion. He and Sesshoumaru never suffered this. He would not allow them to do so now.

Tama called upon his powers to shift; in his other forms, he would get to the girl faster then Sesshoumaru.

Then, he could remove what was poisoning his Lord.


	6. The Reckoning

**Author's Note: **Nothing to add expect, the end is near! One more chapter, and the humble question if I should write a sequel. This story has left a lot of loose ends but hopefully, I've established a world that is worthy enough to be played in. Feedback is always welcome as is anyone who would like to chat Sesshoumaru. Just IM me. Thank you for putting up with this newbie!

**Chapter Five: The Reckoning**

"My Lord Sesshoumaru, you've returned! I was beginning to worry about our situation! But, thankfully, you can now set everything back on its appointed course…"

"Quiet Jaken. Prepare An-Uh for departure, and fetch my swords and armor from the Weapons Master here." Sesshoumaru swept into the room like a storm, disregarding his manner or reputation for stillness. He wanted to be gone from here; back on his journey and to the quiet company of his thoughts. He wanted to put out of his mind all the troubling thoughts that had plagued him, and the self-disgust that was growing in his stomach like a cancer.

He looked around the finely furnished room, seeing the small bed Jaken had made for himself- the vassal wouldn't have dared touch that meant for his Lord. But there was a blanket from the larger bed that had been removed, tucked close to Jaken's bed.

Rin's bed. She hated being alone.

Sesshoumaru looked around the room for his ward, before beginning to peel off his blood stained clothes. Blood frightened Rin, and he had no desire for her to see him caked in Human blood. Nor did he have any desire to remain sullied in such a way. It made him feel tainted.

"Pack them." He ordered as he saw Jaken bundle up the white robes and made motions to take them to the laundress. "We'll have them attended elsewhere."

Anywhere but here.

Sesshoumaru pulled another set of robes from a satchel Jaken had brought in. It was simpler in design; plain white robes he used for training purposes, and pulled it to hang lose around his frame. He stopped for a moment and waited for Jaken to fasten the gold sash around his waist.

"You plan to leave so soon, milord?" Jaken chirped, crossing the distance between him and Sesshoumaru. He rarely talked while attending his Lord in this way; only because Sesshoumaru disliked being reminded of his infirmary. "There was still much needing to be addressed."

"Oh?"

"Small things, milord." Jaken added hastily. "A few points of your past…"

"My past is no concern to you."

"I am not the one asking. Rin is." Sesshoumaru pulled away, giving Jaken a dark look. The attendant seemed to shrink a little, before throwing his eyes down in submission. "I do not mean to impose my Lord! I shall deal with her questions myself, I only hoped to ensure things remain as they are…"

"They would not?"

"She has become very uneasy, Lord Sesshoumaru, about a great many things. Do not concern yourself. I will deal with it."

Sesshoumaru turned towards the door, straining to catch Rin's scent on the air. He would find her, "address" the concerns now. He stopped, and stared at the small figure that was standing at his doorway.

A Water demon, his small hands folded over one another and head bowed, had been standing there for some time, waiting to be acknowledged. Now with the Western Lord glaring down at him, he spoke. "Forgive me, Venerable Lord, I have been sent by my Master to escort you to an event in your honor."

"We're leaving." Sesshoumaru said coldly, and moved to walk pass him.

"With respect, Lord." The boy began again. "It would be…regrettable if you didn't attend." The boy flinched a little under Sesshoumaru's cool glare. "Your slave's life…"

"I have no slaves."

The boy looked up. "Your human's life then."

There were few things in life Sesshoumaru was unprepared for, and the sensation that came from staring into the little boy's eyes was one of them. It was cold, and sharp and felt like Sesshoumaru had just been thrown into a freezing current. He felt numb.

The boy was staring at him. "If you half care for her as much as she thinks you do, you'd go to her."

"Do not presume to question my Lord!" Jaken shouted, rearing up on the child. "Who do you think you are to…"

The boy returned. "Someone who loves her…"

Sesshoumaru ignored whatever else they said, and his own state of undress and pushed pass them both to find Rin. Finding the freshest trail of her scent was easy; and with some uneasily he found Tama's as well. In his mind's eye, visions of rather gruesome displays played over again, making the ice cold sensation reach throughout his blood. He told himself it would be unwise to panic. Tama wouldn't dare challenged him. He knew he would never emerge from a confrontation with Sesshoumaru alive. But Sesshoumaru also knew that Tama wouldn't play fair.

And now, it was obvious, he had a weakness.

Sesshoumaru felt like laughing from the dismal outlook. It had been easy to bluff apathy with Naraku. Tama would know better.

The scent lead him into the receiving grounds where just days before Tama and him had greeted each other after years apart. The grounds were still filled with countless demons that had come to witness their Master's entertainment. In the pale morning lights, everything was purple or blue, making it seem surreal. Sesshoumaru wasn't sure this was not another dream. For a moment, he hoped it was.

Tama was standing erect holding the Tokijin in his right hand, and Tensaiga by the scabbard in his left. Sitting on her knees facing him was Rin, shaking and silently sobbing to herself. Tokijin's blade was resting flat on her shoulder, its tip touching her neck. Tama had only to jerk his wrist to severe her neck; a clean cut. Behind Rin, also squatting, was Tama's blacksmith and a fire demon, with his hands blazing and poised over Rin's arms as if praying for her. Sesshoumaru could smell Rin's tears and burning hair, and it took a conscious effort to remain still. History felt like it was repeating. He had been here before.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru said as he walked towards them, stopping only with Tama flinched nervously, causing a little cut on the girl's neck. He could sense Tokijin beginning to work its callous magic on Tama, could see the Fox's bloodlust quickening. "Don't move."

Rin inhaled sharply at the sound of his voice, but did not stop shaking. Sesshoumaru arched a brow. She had never disobeyed him before. His eyes darted to Tama.

"I know you would appreciate such dramatics, Sesshoumaru Lord." Tama began, never looking away from Rin and Tokijin. "Killing the girl and leaving her corpse to rot on the wayside seemed something…you would do. Not at all something to capture your attention."

"Do you really think to harm me like this, Tama? You were never one to wound extremities, you always went after the heart."

"You don't have one. I am forced to improvise here." Tama turned the blade up, touching Rin's chin. "I fail to understand what you've become now, Sesshoumaru. This is a masterful blade…" His voice dropped a little, in awe. "A glorious blade. Yet you come not to reclaim it but this…girl."

"The blade is the cheap replica of my true prize. I knew you would approve." Sesshoumaru interjected. "You seem to like dreams over reality."

"What we had was no dream."

"It was. A vainglorious attempt made by children to understand a world they couldn't yet fit into."

"We were gods."

"No, we were arrogant." Sesshoumaru paused to consider. "Arrogant and armed, unfortunately. We believed death and life were things would could hand out with impunity. There are consequences."

"Not for us!" Tama shouted, turning to him. "Not for you. Do you hear yourself speaking? Who are you to care about a few miserable lives…lives like this human girl's that will fade and turn to ash sooner then those of our kind can turn their heads."

"I don't care. But I understand it now."

"Then you will not mind if your blade is polished with the blood of one more." Tama said savagely.

"Know it will the last deed you perform in this life."

"You would murder me for the revenge of human girl?"

"Because you would take what is mine."

Rin turned her eyes to catch sight of Sesshoumaru. There was a strange look he had never seen there before. Apathy. Then, her eyes traveled behind him, to where Jaken and the water demon, Zen, stood. There was that same blank look in her eyes. No fear, no apprehension, no love, for anything.

And her eyes, the poet's eyes, the sad eyes, the eyes of the dead friend, turned to study the dirt and Tama's shoes. Sesshoumaru thought he saw her mouth words to one that no one could see, before turning her head with a snap- towards the blade.

Sesshoumaru had his claws out, pushing Tama away from Rin before Tokijin had a chance to find his target. He shut his mind down then, refusing to think about the action he had just witness from his young ward, and turned to focus on Tama.

Tama was on his back, laughing. "It looks as if I have already taken what is yours." Tama's eyes darkened. "Save one thing."

There was sharp explosion of pain in his stomach, as Tama drove Tokijin as far as it would go through Sesshoumaru. He inhaled, calling out to the Tensaiga, before lashing out, blindly against him. Had hate been fuel and strength, the Western Lord would have call upon hell itself to ensure Tama would be nothing more then a stain on the ground. He went blind for a moment, using pure muscle memory and rage to guide his attack.

Tama rolled away, jumping up, and throwing Tensaiga down as he passed. In rapid succession he hurled Fox Fire in efforts to secure time to breath and plan. Sesshoumaru would have none of this, pushing through the flames to pursue. Hell itself would not stop his path.

There was a scream behind him that stopped him cold. Rin's scream.

Sesshoumaru turned to see Zen running towards Rin, throwing up a shield of water between her and the flames and catching up Rin in his arms as he knelt by her. Rin screamed again as the two forces impacted, creating an explosion and clung desperately to Zen's robes, burying her face in it.

"Don't leave me." She told him. "Don't leave me!"

Turning back, he stumbled back as Jaken appeared from no where to throw Tama back with the Staff of Two Heads. Sesshoumaru was surprised, amused and impressed as he watched Jaken throw Tama back with one power then the other. It gave him time to breath, calling on his whip to finish the attack.

Tama looked up through the attacks, his dark, patched eye blacked. It had taken on the blaze of the Staff head-on. Sesshoumaru could smell the burnt flesh. And there appeared the smile. Tama lifted the Tokijin once more, watching Sesshoumaru ready his whip. For a moment the friends remained still.

"And this is how we are to be broken," Tama whispered. "By your own weakness."

Sesshoumaru didn't speak.

"This is not you, Sesshoumaru." Tama continued softly. His voice devoid of hate or anger. There was only the smallest hints of sadness and regret. "This is some…lingering pain, left by past wounds that has clouded your judgment. But do not worry…I will make you remember before we are done."

There was one final movement, a blast of Fox Fire and throwing the Tokijin at Jaken to make him dodge. A plume of smoke, and a brief explosion, an illusion of smoke and mirrors to buy him precious seconds to escape. Sesshoumaru let him go.

He folded his arm around the wound, and grunted. For this wound, Sesshoumaru would need time to rest. He turned, scanning the faces of those present for any sign of a challenge. The demons merely bowed.

"Jaken," He said after a time. "I give this place to your care. Do as you see fit." He inhaled again, and began to walk into the palace. "Rin. Come."

He paused at the door waiting to hear her footsteps. There were several moments of silence, but she never budged. Refusing to look back, or flinch, Sesshoumaru took another labored breath and continued on.


	7. Phyrric Victories

**Author's Note: **I never meant for this story to end so soon but it's made for a fun ride. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I loved writing it, and keep an eye out for it's sequel with the Inu Crew. J Thank you all, once again.

**Chapter Six: Pyhrric Victories**

Four days had passed since Tama and Sesshoumaru's confrontation and since he had seen Rin. He had smelled of her course, sometimes wandering along the palace's walkways, to come just within hearing range of the small girl but never endeavoring to approach her. She would come to him, he reasoned, when she was prepared. He just never imagined it would have taken this long. Sesshoumaru normally could have cared less for the time's passage, he was accustomed to solitude, but this was different. Now, time seemed to crave its way slowly through stone, making his bones hurt and making him crave anything from Rin's nervous inhales, to those ridiculous songs she always hummed. But he would not ask for them.

He had lost much; he would not forfeit his pride.

Sesshoumaru rubbed his stomach gingerly. There was still tenderness, but nothing else. No scar would mark where Tama had used his own sword against him; no murals would be painted of that battle and its victorious conclusion. There would be nothing outside of memory to prove it even existed at all. For a moment he, Sesshoumaru Lord of the Western Lands, was tempted to believe it only a nightmare. He entertained a vain dream for a second, letting it play in his head like a child's, he would wake to find Tama by his side and not against him. He would awake to find both arms in tact, without any thought to a small girl child with sad eyes that seemed to capture the world.

And just as quickly as he thought of this, he dismissed it. Too much had passed now to be forgotten, too much to reject and throw away. This was not a sad thought, Sesshoumaru was above such emotions, but it did stay with him, long after he had dismissed the dreams and walked into the grounds.

Ah-Un was waiting for him, Jaken holding onto the reigns. The bags were heavy laden with clothes, and gear with his swords tucked into the saddle. The demons had come to bid him farewell. Rin was no where in sight.

"I have left this palace in the care of Benjiro." Jaken said, as he bowed deeply.

Benjiro was the Smithy that had kept Rin from running. Sesshoumaru turned his eyes towards the fire demon with a cool, even gaze. The demon seemed to be surprised to be acknowledged and stumbled backwards. "Fealty is sworn to you, my Lord."

"This place is yours, Jaken. Do as you wish with it."

Benjiro stared at Sesshoumaru and Jaken, confused as who he should coddle. He decided both would be acceptable. "Jaken Lord has given us…relative freedom. The human slaves have been released to return to the villages of their birth."

Sesshoumaru bowed his head to retrieve his swords from saddle and loop them into his sash. He wondered idly which of those villages had been the one he and Tama had attacked. He still couldn't remember how many he had killed.

He wondered which Rin had gone too.

"Our doors will be forever open to you and yours, milord."

"I doubt we shall ever return," Jaken gave words to what Sesshoumaru was thinking. "But live and die as you see fit." Jaken was watching his Lord, and then turned away, searching the Compound for something. He paused for a few beats, as if bidding silent farewells and hoping…

"We're leaving." Sesshoumaru said suddenly, gripping the reigns in his one had and beginning to mount.

He stopped as the wind blew past him, tickling the scars of his arm and making it ache and bringing on the air a familiar scent. He dropped the reigns and doubled back, a show of eagerness and joy.

Rin was standing on the porch, head bowed, with one arm clutching to Zen's. Zen was waiting for another of his kind to finish packing the knapsack that rested on his hip. The girl looked over at Sesshoumaru, giving him a dark look, before sliding a perfectly formed mirror into the leather pouch. The mirror caught the sun at just the right angle, blinding Sesshoumaru and causing him to look away.

Zen was escorting Rin to him by the time he looked back. Rin was still studying the dirt, her hand gripping Zen's so tight it made her knuckles white. Zen paused a few steps shy of him.

"She has no family here." Zen began, respectfully but firmly. Sesshoumaru could smell the fear on him, coupled with the resolution to remain Rin's newfound guardian.

He stifled a sneer. Rin had a guardian.

"You are all she knows." Zen continued, "And until we can find somewhere safe, we have no where else to go."

Sesshoumaru looked at Rin. He wanted her to speak to him, to look at him. Something. She had never been afraid of him before…Not even he had been nothing more then a Youkai hiding the woods near her village. Not even when he had treated her with disgust and apathy. She had always come. She had always followed.

Something had happened. Something had fractured in the small girl's mind; breaking the image of her Sesshoumaru. Something he didn't know yet and something he feared he would never know if she didn't tell him.

Looking down at her now, he wanted to see her face, hear her voice and see those eyes that haunted him. He never thought he could feel so far from someone only inches from him.

"Please…" Zen repeated. "Let us travel with you until we can find a home."

She had already one; Sesshoumaru felt like saying but remained silent. Quietly, he kneeled, offering his arm to Rin.

Rin flinched but approached, clasping her arms around his neck. He kept himself from squeezing her as he lifted her unto Ah-Un. He lingered for a moment, with his arm around her, to catch and memorize her scent before releasing unto the dragon's back. Rin inhaled, wiped tears from her eyes, and leaned against the dragon.

Sesshoumaru repeated the same with Zen, lifting the boy unto the dragon, and pulling away quickly, refusing to acknowledge Rin's smile as Zen wrapped his arms around her waist.

Jaken was muttering something about becoming babysitters, though there was relief in his voice now that he saw Rin again. He didn't seem to grasp what had passed, or, refused to accept it. Both were likely.

Sesshoumaru turned his head away from the wind. It played at his scar tissue, making his arm ache but he ignored the pain. It was minor in comparisons to other wounds he felt at the moment. Inhaling, and gripping the Tensaiga for comfort, the Lord of the Western Lands turned and continued on his trek.


End file.
